What's in a name?

So I'm sure by now you are wondering why the title of my blog is Wonder Woman's Infertility.  I am clearly no superhero, I can't fly, and I'm certainly not an Amazon warrior princess.  In fact, I've never been in a fight in my life and can only imagine how scrappy I would be with my Olive Oil muscles.  Wonder Woman (WW) could run at speeds of 60 mph or greater.  I only run when there is a doughnut or chocolate involved and that is still a slow jog.  WW could jump from building to building and tear steel doors off of their hinges.  The only jumping and tearing I do is jumping onto the couch and tearing tissues out of the box when I cry watching the Hallmark Channel.

But WW was created in 1941 to reassure women that they were strong but could be gentle and compassionate at the same time.  WW was a warrior princess, who fought for love, justice, and peace in a world of men.  I relate to this because my job is a constant fight for justice and attempting to keep the streets peaceful.  The only difference is that I fight with my brain and mouth instead of my hands.  But WW and I use some of the same tools.  Her main tools were her lasso of truth, indistructible bracelets, and her golden tiara.  Her lasso of truth was used to force people to tell her the truth.  I am learning to do this on cross examination.  Questioning a peron on the stand and catching them in a lie is sometimes the most fun an attorney can have.  Her indistructible bracelets could deflect bullets and were used to keep some of her powers contained.  These bracelets are used everyday where I work.  People come in and out of the courtroom everyday with silver bracelets and shackels. She used the golden tiara as a projectile.  About the only thing I can throw that accurately is a bowling ball. I don't have a tiara, but I'm not opposed to getting one!

Because WW debuted during World War II, a time when women were having to work all day then come home and be the mother, father, wife, and husband, WW became an icon.  Women who could do all of those things and appear to do them well, were called WW.  That's why I think I'm WW!  Now let me be very clear, I am not a great house wife.  I am not good a cleaning on a regular basis, I don't cook dinner everynight, and I certainly don't bring my husband his slippers while he reads the paper.  But when I do cook, I cook from scratch.  I am the party queen, always going over board with food and decorations.  I always overestimate my realistic ability to do.  I work anywhere from 40-55 hours a week, depending on what kind of week it is.  I volunteer with the Junior Service League, Relay for Life, and the County Animal Shelter.  I bowl on Sundays, carrying a nice 185 average.  I coupon daily, looking for the best deals to save my family money. I obsess over perfection and always try my best!  I handle my problems quietly, most of the time, without asking for help from anyone else. I prefer to be the one people lean on instead of being the leaner. 

I found this on a blog called "Roar: You will be heard."  I felt it was all too perfect to explain the flawed perfectionist that is me!

Here are 10 symptoms of the Wonder Woman Syndrome (emphasis added):

1. I am slow to bow my knees but quick to roll up my sleeves

2. I try too hard to make everything just right

         (I'm working on it)

3. I have this desire to fix everything and I believe I can

         (except for infertility)

4. I can’t say no when there is a call for volunteers

5. I feel that I can control the behavior of others

6. I feel that I have all the answers

7. I feel overwhelmed and keep pushing myself

8. I think too highly of myself and pride rules
          (I'm proud to say that this has gotten better)

9. I think if I don’t do it, it will never get done, and nobody can do it as well

             (Except for cleaning the house)

10. I am reluctant to ask for help; watch me do it all by myself.

             (Kevin has always told me I was similar to a 2 year old)

I think this explains why infertility has been so difficult for me to accept.  I try to control my world as much as possible and fix things within my world that aren't working properly.  But I can't control any part of infertility and certainly can't fix it!  Having to come to terms with this has been SUPER humbling.  I'm doing better.  But something tells me it will take a lifetime to deal with it. 

I know God has a WONDERful plan for Kevin and I; one that might be different than our human expectations.  As children, most all women dream of and plan for motherhood.  I practiced on my sister.  I acted like her mom until...well I still do. But I digress.  Motherhood is a part of life that most women are conditioned for from our first baby doll.  So we grow up expecting that that is how life will be.  Motherhood becomes our greatest desire and our biggest failure when it doesn't happen. Then we question God when our plans go array.  But God didn't promise us motherhood! Psalm 37: 4 says "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."  But what if the desires of my heart are more than a child, something I can't yet understand or appreciate?  I'll just have to let go of my WW persona, and let God fix this one! WW doesn't exist.  She is only a fictional character created to remind women that they are tough and can do just about anything!

God has this under control, he just has a little conditioning to do before he makes me the Katy he needs me to be!  Then he will reveal the true desires of my heart!

So there you have it.  Why the name Wonder Woman's Infertility fits my blog.